When Ministry Was Strong… But Their Marriage Wasn’t

They Were Serving God… But Slowly Losing Each Other

Ptr.  Albert Callueng was fully devoted to ministry.

Serving. Leading. Showing up.

As a pastor, his life revolved around the church.

Meanwhile, Mylin stayed in the background—
at home, caring for their children, quietly supporting from a distance.

From the outside, everything looked steady.

But inside their home…
something wasn’t quite right.

Not loud.
Not chaotic.

Just quietly unraveling.

Before FamilyLife: A Family in Crisis

Ptr. Albert believed he was doing what was right.

Faithful to his calling.
Focused on ministry.
Committed to serving God.

“I assumed… my family would understand yung faithfulness ko sa aking pagpapastor.”

But what he thought was faithfulness…
was already creating distance.

A Marriage That Drifted in Silence

For years, Mylin remained on the sidelines.

Not involved in ministry.
Not part of the conversations.
Not walking alongside him in the work that consumed most of his life.

“Hindi niya ako ini-involve sa ministry… usapan namin na mag-stay lang ako sa bahay.”

So she stayed.

At home.
With the children.
Watching from a distance.

At first, it felt manageable.

But slowly, something deeper surfaced.

“I felt bored… naawa ako sa asawa ko… parang nag-iisa siya sa ministry.”

She didn’t just feel left out.

She felt disconnected.

From his world.
From his struggles.
From him.

And over time, what she longed for became clearer…

“I’m longing for him… yung dating siya… yung malambing… wala na lahat.”

Not the pastor.
Not the leader.

But the man who once chose her.. intentionally.

And years before he even knew…
she had reached a breaking point.

“…gusto ko na siyang iwan.”

A quiet decision.

Carried alone.

A Father Repeating What He Never Healed

At home, another pattern was forming.

“I was molded by my mother… ako ang pinakamaraming palo… unconsciously, ganun din pala ang ipapasa ko.”

His parenting reflected his past.

Harsh discipline.
Firm authority.

And one belief he held onto:

“I never said sorry to my children… kasi gusto ko ma-establish yung authority.”

To him, that was leadership.

But to his son…
it created distance.

A 16-year wall—
not built through rebellion,
but through fear.

“I realized… takot siya sa akin.”

The Turning Point: When Truth Interrupted the Pattern

Their breakthrough didn’t begin with a crisis.

It began with an unexpected invitation.

A FamilyLife Pagsasanay sa Pagiging Magulang tungo sa Pinagpalang Pamilya (P4S) facilitators training.

They stepped in…
not knowing it would change everything.

What they encountered wasn’t just teaching.

It was exposure.

P4S revealed something deeper…

That what felt “normal” in their parenting
was actually a cycle being passed down.

And for Ptr. Albert, it became impossible to ignore.

P4S didn’t just teach principles.

It introduced rhythms they could practice at home—
intentional moments to reconnect, reflect, and engage as a family.

When Their Marriage Finally Faced the Truth

As they continued engaging with FamilyLife, they entered another journey…
Vertical Marriage.

This time, the focus wasn’t on parenting.

It was on them.

On their relationship.
Their patterns.
Their unspoken realities.

And for the first time, everything surfaced.

“It never once entered my mind na iiwan ko ang wife ko… but it really hurt and felt unfair when she revealed to me that she actually attempted to leave me.”

What had been hidden for years…
was finally spoken.

Vertical Marriage didn’t just teach them how to communicate.

It created space for honesty…
for things long buried to finally be named.

It also introduced simple but meaningful practices they could bring into their home.

One of those was something they had never really done before:

Family Altar.

The Apology That Broke a 16-Year Wall

The moment came quietly.

At home.
Not in a seminar.
Not on a stage.

But during a Family Altar – a simple, intentional time they began practicing after learning it through their Vertical Marriage journey, where families gather to talk, reflect, and grow together spiritually.

No script.
No audience.

Just a father… finally willing to ask.

“Anak… wala ka bang maalala na ginawa ko sa’yo na nasaktan kita?”

His son hesitated.

Then cried.

Years of pain… spoken without words.

And in that moment…

Ptr. Albert chose something different.

Not authority.
Not control.

But humility.

“Anak, sorry… please forgive me.”

Then he held him…

“First time kong niyakap ang panganay ko… yung matagal.”

A long embrace.

One that didn’t rush.
One that restored.

And just like that…
a wall built over 16 years…
came down.

Their relationship shifted.

From fear…
to connection.

Healing That Was Honest, Not Instant

It wasn’t easy.

There were tensions.
Misunderstandings.
Hard conversations.

At times, unspoken expectations began to surface…
and with them, quiet comparisons that neither of them fully knew how to process.

In the middle of one difficult conversation, frustration spilled over.

And he said:

“Kung hindi ka na masaya sa akin… you are still young enough to find someone better than me.”

Real.
Unfiltered.
Painfully honest.

But this time…
they didn’t walk away.

They stayed.

They listened.
They processed.
They chose to rebuild.

“We realized… it’s not too late.”

After FamilyLife: A New Way of Living and Leading

What began as personal transformation…
reshaped everything.

Family Became the First Ministry

“Our home is the first discipleship center; therefore, our family should be our first ministry.”

Their home was no longer secondary.

It became the priority.

Their marriage… first.
Their children… next.

And from there, everything else flowed.

Their children began sharing their faith.
Their home became a place of discipleship.

And before long, ministry was no longer something Ptr. Albert carried alone…

it became something the whole family stepped into together.

From Personal Breakthrough to Full-Time Calling

What God restored in them…
they couldn’t keep to themselves.

“If even we, as church leaders, go through marital and family problems, how much more those who are not Christians?”

So Ptr. Albert and Mylin said yes…

To serving with Cru’s FamilyLife full-time.
To walking alongside couples.
To helping pastors avoid the same silent struggles.

They stepped in with full hearts…

For a brief moment, it felt like they had missed a very important footnote somewhere.

But what started as surprise…
slowly turned into surrender.

And eventually…
conviction.

Impact Beyond Their Home

As they began facilitating FamilyLife programs..
P4S, Vertical Marriage, I Still Do (ISD), and HomeBuilders…

they witnessed something they never expected:

Breakthrough.

Not just in their family…
but in others.

Pastors confessing hidden struggles.
Marriages on the edge choosing to stay.
Couples finding their way back.

Through I Still Do, there were public apologies.
Through HomeBuilders, ongoing restoration.

And through it all…
churches grew stronger.

Because families were being rebuilt.

The Truth That Changed Everything

After years in ministry, one truth stood above the rest:

“Ang pangunahing relasyon sa tahanan… ay ang relasyong mag-asawa.”

Not parent and child.
Not ministry and mission.

But husband and wife.

Because when that relationship is built according to God’s design…
everything else begins to follow.

Still Growing. Still Becoming

Their story didn’t end in perfection.

It continues.

With growth.
With grace.
With intention.

But now…

Ptr. Albert and Mylin walk together.
Serve together.
Build together… with their children alongside them.

And the family that once lived in quiet distance…
has become the very foundation of their ministry.

Because the truth is…

You can be faithful in ministry…
and still be distant at home.

You can be doing “everything right”…
and still be slowly losing the people who matter most.

Until one moment of honesty…
one conversation…
one “I’m sorry”…
changes everything.

And maybe that’s where it begins.

Not with perfection.

But with the courage
to come back to each other.

If parts of this story feel familiar…

You’re not alone.

And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

________

Ptr. Albert and Mylin Callueng are longtime ministry workers from Sta. Maria, Isabela, who have been married for 21 years and are raising three children. Their journey reflects both quiet struggles and deep transformation within their family. After years of pastoral ministry marked by hidden tensions in their marriage and parenting, their lives were reshaped through their encounter with FamilyLife programs such as Pagsasanay sa Pagiging Magulang tungo sa Pinagpalang Pamilya (P⁴S) and Vertical Marriage. Now serving as full-time staff trainees with Cru Philippines, they are being prepared for ministry with FamilyLife, where they are passionate about helping couples – especially fellow pastors – restore their marriages, rebuild their families, and rediscover God’s design for the home as the foundation of lasting impact.